Funsizing
Earlier this year I started taking on contract work again, something I haven’t done steadily for about 10 years. The spark was getting laid off, which turned out to be a great moment to step back and reflect on things.
After some soul searching, I started to see a pattern I’ve been repeating: I’d start a new job with a company and team I felt good about, and a few years later I’d have some reason to move on. Sometimes it was a mismatch with leadership or my manager, other times it was burnout on that specific work. All valid reasons to leave! But when I think back on those companies, I remember most of them fondly—good teams, supportive managers, and companies making things I believed in. So why did I leave?
Reader, it was me.
I don’t think I actually mesh well with the structure of in-house design. I loved working among designers, mentoring, and shaping the direction of things; but at the same time, I was drowning in the reporting, OKRs, and earnings metrics of it all. I was often too far from the actual design happening, stuck hovering at some low altitude over the work. And that often left me feeling depleted.
Basically, I’ve always felt best when I was making things, and I miss being more hands-on. But I really miss the flexibility to try different things, work with different people, and learn while I’m doing it.
So I decided not to look for a new full-time position and instead go solo and hang out my own shingle again. I started a new LLC to work under and wrestled a domain name away from a domain squatter (boo! hiss!) last week.
Is this a good time to start a business? I dunno. But for my own health, I want to break the pattern of chasing fulfillment in the next shiny new role. It feels like an extra bad time to count on big companies to look out for their employees. That’s always been true, but it’s even clearer in economic downturns.
I’m excited about the chance to steer what I’m doing and who I work for again. I want to carve out something small and sustainable for me and collaborators. Something that doesn’t need to scale just to stick around. Something that takes on useful work, things I believe in, that works locally—in geography or community—and builds relationships. I want to will some optimism and fun back into my workday.
I want to work alongside people again, maybe in a shared studio space a couple times a week. Even better if we’re collaborating on projects together. I want to mentor designers. I want to keep learning. I want space to experiment and take on side quests just for the joy of it.
I’ve been having a blast designing typefaces and love making artifacts around design—books, shirts, games, who knows. I’ve always admired the polymathic studios like Coudal Partners, Young Jerks, Panic, and others. Places that found a niche doing things that nourished them creatively.
I’m taking it slow and trying to be intentional right now about what fills me up. I’ve booked a couple of gigs already, which is reassuring, and I hope I can grow that into something fun-sized and steady.
If you or anyone you know is looking for contract design help, please drop me a line.